Daily Career Connection

Assertiveness is a unique tool for any manager’s toolbox or for anyone who can apply it in their daily lives. Assertiveness allows one to express true feelings or emotions and personal rights, as well as the rights of others. Assertiveness is for the most part is straight forward, honest and identifies personal needs to another person. There are people that have a knack for assertive communication where others can develop there own style as a learned behavior. Those who have supreme skill with assertiveness will reduce conflict in the workplace, at home and other social environments. Assertive behavior seems to be the stress reducer in awkward situations and usually becomes the peacemaker in chaotic environments.

There is a difference between being assertive and aggression. These two behaviors can cause confusion. When people are aggressive they are usually reacting to the given situation in a rude, derogatory, sarcastic manner that only increases the anxiety and stress of anyone involved. On the other hand assertiveness allows one to stand up for their feelings while respecting others rights and feelings in the process. This causes a neutral line of communication that does not escalate the situation. Assertiveness can give both parties the “benefit of doubt”. There is a philosophy that Humans naturally want to do the right thing. People don’t wake up in the morning and deliberately insist on causing mayhem. The trick is to be able to harness that instinct and apply it to a “win-win” situation reducing unnecessary conflict.

There is a population of people that naturally become passive to situations. These people are experiencing fear, and don’t really know how to communicate their feelings to the offender. The fear is the fear of losing or becoming dominated so, they pretty much avoid conflict. This can evolve into poor self-esteem. Passive behavior can be stereotyped as a “win-lose” but in reality everyone loses because there was no communication, only interpersonal conflict.
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Does your boss make the most exasperating requests? Or perhaps demands for things on the spot? Maybe even reschedules meetings around her manicure appointment during office hours? Does she come into the office every morning sporting a look that makes you wonder if she realizes she’s not waltzing down the red carpet at an LA premiere? Welcome to the world of the diva boss.

In ‘The Devil Wears Prada’, Anne Hathaway’s got a boss straight out of Hades but being the movie world, it’s all right for her. At least those to-die-for clothes are guaranteed to ease the pain away. However, for those of us in the real world, reality is sadly the opposite. Not only do you have to suffer your boss, but you also have to do it in mass produced high street fashion outfits.

Interviews with a few ladies turned up the following common absurdities diva bosses have been known to come up with:-

Scenario 1

She’s afraid of flying but she has to do it anyway, so she asks you to call the travel agency and find out exactly what make the airplane is, when it was commissioned, when it was last serviced and then she wants you to go online and find out if airplanes of that model are generally safe. “I wanted to staple the plane ticket to her head,” said Karen, an Executive Assistant. “Of course there was no way I could get that information and the agency more or less hung up on me around the time I started to ask about the last time the plane was serviced. The most annoying thing about it is she canceled the flight eventually.”
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Here is a truly unique way of looking at a Change at work or in your Career. A Career Changing event is like HOT water. It can get your temperature rising, it can have you changing the environment around you. It can cause you to give up and become mushy.

What are you like when your in HOT water at work on in your Career?

1. Are you like an Egg; Do you look the same on the outside but turn hard on the inside?

2. Are you like a Carrot; Do you turn to mush and do whatever the ‘hot water’ wants you to do?

3. Are you like a Coffee Bean; …..do you try to change the situation?

4. Are you like a Ice Cube; Or are you the ‘diffuser’ of the group? Do you do everything you can to cool down the hot water situation?

5. Are you like a Rock; Do you sink to the bottom of the boiling water and let the change happen around you while you refuse to budge?

Often times, people go through each ’stage’ when navigating through a changing environment. As an exercise you can use these items above to describe your journey through the change you have or are going through. Understanding what your facing and how your likely to react to that change is invaluable. At times we all react worse than we would like to or we over-react to changes and challenges while at work. We will all agree that we must pick our battles wisely, but on the flip side of that sliced potato we all also have a natural tendency to react one way over the others.

Its times like these that we should consider what our best reaction to any change or challenge might be. Beware of your reactions to the changes and challenges, are you trying to be a Bean when being a Rock would be better? Are you an Ice Cube or an Egg? Ask yourself these questions and pick a course of action you will be proud of when you look back on it. Read this article when you have a moment to reflect on a situation your facing and try to assess how your reacting. Than pick a course and change the world.

Good Luck and let me know if I can help.

The author is Paul Godines from Adapt on a Dime Consulting http://www.adaptonadime.com asks people if they have career goals and who’s helping them achieve them.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Paul_Godines
 

Being accessible makes you more valuable to the people you lead and the organization. Staff must feel comfortable approaching you when they need to. The benefits to you are that you keep your finger on the pulse of the organization and are better equipped to avert problems and take advantages of opportunities as they occur. Also by using your accessibility as a teaching tool in the form of probing questions you are creating a training session that conditions your subordinates to think through their concerns, questions or problems. Your work time as a leader is just as valuable your subordinate’s. Don’t waste it by being the answer man or woman.

There are always exceptions to the rule. You will be giving direction in emergency situations or when facing time deadlines.

People know the right answers and as leaders we have the obligation to create an environment that supports thinking out loud and the confidence to express views, questions, comments and concerns without fear or judgment. You are a confidence builder, not a creator of self doubt. Become a force multiplier. Teach your staff to think by effectively using questions rather that statements or direction.
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